Happiness takes courage. You have to be brave to surrender to joy. When every molecule of your being has been mourning—when loss has permeated and ruptured your heart—you must be dauntless to pursue mirth.
You must find great multitudes of grace to forgive yourself for forgetting to mourn—for laughing wholeheartedly—for having a good day, week, or month. Any sabbatical from grief feels unforgivable at first. Inhabiting happiness is something you must relearn.
It is a challenge to stop hopping through life on one foot because you’re waiting for the other shoe to drop. It is hard to feel light when worry upon worry upon worry is weighing you down.
It is not easy to trust your feelings when they’ve hurt you so much. Dealing with death would be much less formidable if we didn’t love. Depression wouldn’t be such a low without joy and hope’s antipodal highs. Gray is only gray in contrast to light.
This is why hope and happiness don’t come easily to all and are not for those faint of heart. You need courage to pursue and embrace joy when you know it can all fall apart.